Another Culinary Catastrophe

It happened again.

Another culinary catastrophe.

Great idea. Great recipe. Great intentions. But not enough time to do it justice. And then there was the accident.

Here's what happened....

My friend Lorraine over at The Copywriters' Kitchen posted an excellent recipe for Chicken Teriyaki. After reading her post, I couldn't stop thinking about that dish. I HAD to make it last night.

Of course, making this particular dish would necessitate a trip to the grocery. No problem. I could stop by on my way home after school. The recipe was simple enough and I should have plenty of time to get it on and have it ready for dinner.

Well, you know me... I can't follow a recipe verbatim. I always change things up. And for this recipe I planned to prepare it in a crock pot. See, we had the final Mass last night for the kids' PSR (Parish School of Religion - sometimes known as CCD). I figured I could get everything in the pot and let it cook for about 4 hours, so that it would be ready once we got home around 8.

I am terrible with time. No sense of it at all. So, the grocery took longer than I thought. Getting everything in the crock pot took longer than I thought. And I didn't have time to put the rice on before leaving for church. We use brown rice, so it takes a good 45 minutes to cook.

As I sat in Mass, a fear began to gnaw at me: it's not going to be ready. It's not going to be ready and everybody is starving... and Char will be upset because we will have another late night. I felt the darkness closing in.

But then... a ray of hope! I had an idea. I would go home, transfer the Chicken Teriyaki to an All-Clad pot and rev up the stove. Surely it will be done by the time the rice is ready. And another ray of hope - Mass ended 45 minutes earlier than I thought it would. Perfect! The day is saved, I thought.

But the day wasn't saved.

We got home. I put the rice on. I revved up the stove. Put the All-Clad pot in the sink so that it would be easier to pour the contents of the crock pot into it. I began the transfer. Everything went well until I went to set the crock pot down on the edge of the sink. I guess I set it down too hard. It cracked into about 5 pieces! I felt so disappointed... awful.

I checked and I didn't see any crock pot particles in the food, so I put it on the stove. And, voila! In 45 minutes we were ready to eat! And it was delicious!

Now, I was upset about the crock pot. I had pulled it out of the pantry a few days earlier, and I was planning to use it frequently over the next few weeks.

Not any more. Bummer.

And guess what else... There were crock pot fragments in the food. I chomped down on a goodly-sized piece. Checked the pot again. Sure enough, I found more pieces. Now I was angry. I am sure there were tiny pieces, or flakes, that we ate. I am not happy about that. More disappointment.

Lorraine, it tasted great! I love the recipe and I will make it again. But next time I will follow your recipe to a T.

If you have been reading, or listening to, The Catholic Foodie for while, you may remember that I posted a culinary catastrophe before. I called it The Spud Dud. You may want to check that one out too. It shows how terrible I can be in the kitchen.

Do you have a culinary catastrophe story you would like to share? Leave a comment here.

Stout Beef Roast

Mara at What's for Dinner? graciously invited me over as a dinner guest yesterday. Well... as an internet dinner guest. She published one of my articles as a guest post. I am posting it here as well (with a few minor modifications).

Enjoy!

So I had a sirloin roast in my fridge... For two days.

I had no idea what to do with it, but I had a hankering for beer. Good beer. So I went to the grocery. Browsing in the (upscale) beer section, I saw it: Murphy's Stout. No, not to drink. This brew was for the roast!

To be honest, I did buy beer to drink too. Abita Abbey Ale, Abita Turbodog, and a Lobster Lovers Beer. What? Too much? I don't think so! You gotta have something to sip on in the kitchen!

So I poured myself a cold one (or two!) and I got to work.

This is what I needed, and this is what I did:

Ingredients:

• 1 4 lbs. Beef Roast, at room temperature


• 2 to 3 tbsp Salt and freshly ground pepper, or to taste


• ⅛ to ¼ tsp Ground cayenne pepper, or to taste


• 2 pint Beer (Stout), at room temperature


• 2 to 3 Russet Potatoes, cubed


• 3 or 4 Carrots, diced


• 7 to 9 cloves Garlic, sliced thickly


• 3 medium to large Onions, sliced length-wise


• 3 to 4 tbsp Worcestershire sauce, or to taste


• 1 Lemon, juice of

Directions:
1. Make numerous small slits in both sides of the roast (space them evenly). Stuff the slits with the sliced garlic. I slice the garlic into small, thick pieces so that they will fit into the slits.

2. Liberally season the roast with coarse ground sea salt and black pepper. Rub it in well.

3. In a hot dutch oven or large pot, pour enough extra virgin olive oil to coat the bottom. Brown both sides of the roast for several minutes. Then, transfer to crockpot.

4. Add a bit of water to the hot dutch oven or pot. With a strong spatula or large spoon, scrape the bottom to loosen up the debris. Add water and debris to the crockpot. Then add Worcestershire Sauce.

5. Pour 2 pints of Stout (I use Murphy's Stout... not too expensive. About $1.50/can.) to the crockpot. At this point, the roast should be covered with liquid.

6. Add the onions, potatoes, carrots to the crockpot. You could also put some on the bottom the crockpot before you put the roast in.

7. Turn crockpot on high and let it cook for 3 or 4 hours.

8. Turn crockpot down to low and let cook for several hours (5 or more?).

9. Add the juice of one lemon and extra salt & cayenne to taste.

10. Serve with rice.

NOTE: Just made this the other day. I cooked it on high for about 3 to 4 hours, then turned it to low and cooked it for about 8 more hours! Delicious and fall-off-the-fork tender.


(Serves 10)